Why become a working mom when you can just be a mom?
You married into a well to do family, you get whatever you point your finger at, there is no financial burden on you, you have a loving husband, a baby, then what is this obsession to get on your feet and become a working mom when you can just be a mom? Don’t you think your child needs you more than you need yourself?
Did the questions above trigger your conscious at some level? Why do we keep forgetting the fact that, before being a mom, a wife, a daughter-in-law, a woman is a human being first, and like every other, she has her own dreams and aspirations? Whenever a mom decides to rejoin her work, the unspoken assumptions about her failing as a wife and mother crosses people’s minds.
It is time to change and stop blaming women for everything that goes wrong in a family. Stop reprimanding women for wanting to have the basic pleasures to life, and start supporting them instead.
Our story is about a common woman who envisaged being financially independent irrespective of the family’s wealth and stability.
𝐖𝐞 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐚 𝐰𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐭𝐡𝐲 𝐟𝐚𝐦𝐢𝐥𝐲. 𝐖𝐡𝐲 𝐝𝐨 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤?
“My goal was to have my own identity. I grew up in an unbiased acceptive family, my parents always supported me for every decision I took for myself irrespective of my gender. On the other hand, my in-laws had a conventional way of living. For them, women should pledge themselves towards their family and home. Anything beyond that is not something they should be concerned about. I was quite taken aback by this patriarchal behaviorism and couldn’t imagine the work it would take to change this.
The choice I had was to either mold myself to being one of them and suppress my dreams for the rest of my life or make them look at the world through my eyes. The fact that if I chose the former option, I would be another wife and daughter in law and not Megha Choudhary, haunted me for days. That’s when I realized that I could up everything but my identity.
Every time I talked about rejoining my work, the questions, why, and how followed. But I was adamant and explained how it was not about the money but building my individual self, and my inner satisfaction. I have my master’s degree in commerce with more than 250 national and state-level prizes for my paintings. I couldn’t afford to let them sit in the corner with dust accumulation.
Plans to balance work and home responsibilities
After a lot of persuading, they halfheartedly permitted to let me have my job back, but the constant wanting me to quit the idea, was transparent on their faces. Today, I have to finish all the chores without giving them a reason to point at me, before leaving for work. After coming back from work, the dinner has to be prepared by me without complaining.
It was challenging for me initially but I started to plan and execute everything beforehand in a way that could save me some time.
Handling judgment and criticism
The criticism I received for leaving my baby while going to work, was overwhelming. They perceived me as a selfish mother that would get detached from her own child in the need to pursue her dreams. I knew those comments were just to distract me from my goals, but having my family on my side really helped me get through this.
Today, I have been promoted twice and heading two departments in my office. I can proudly say that I am making a difference and the inner satisfaction and peace helps me sleep better at nights. I just didn’t want to be called by someone else’s name but now my son will not just look up to his father as his ideal but his mother too.
Learning something from Megha, we narrowed few points for women who wanted to start working again. We answered all your questions related to being working mom, how to balance work and a baby, how to be a good mother and take care of your child while being at work.
𝟱 𝗪𝗮𝘆𝘀 𝗪𝗼𝗿𝗸𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗠𝗼𝗺𝘀 𝗖𝗮𝗻 𝗦𝗮𝘃𝗲 𝗧𝗵𝗲𝗶𝗿 𝗧𝗶𝗺𝗲
- 1. Wake up a little early: Waking up earlier than your usual time will let you have some extra time in your hand to get your things done.
- 2. Prepare a weekly meal plan: An advanced planning of meal will help you be prepare the raw materials and save a lot of your time from what–to–cook chaos.
- 3. Write down your time consumers: Find the petty things that consume a lot of your time, for instance, water bottles, finding keys, etc and keep them ready a night before.
- 4. Your outfit: Deciding what to wear for the day in the morning will unnecessarily take up a lot of your time for no reason, decide your attire and keep it ready a night before
- 5. Make a free time task list: Keep a handy list where you can add small tasks that you will do whenever you will get 15–20 minutes every day.